When the Luck Ran Out
by Marauder of Our Stars
Summary: After a huge fight with his sisters, he goes to stay at a friend's. But on the way, he gets a little...kidnapped. No Such Luck AU. Rated T for violence, language, and some adult situations. Read & review!
1. Lincoln Has Left the Building!

**_I had this idea as a sequel to_** ** _Escaped_** ** _, but I couldn't resist as soon as I thought of a No Such Luck fanfiction._**

* * *

A nut fell from a tree, just missing the distressed eleven year-old. This eleven year old wasn't out on his own terms, but on his so-called "family's" concern. He was contemplating how stupid he was for thinking Lincoln-time came without a price. An eye for an eye? More like an eye for an arm. At one point in his mourn-fest, suicide crossed his mind. His stupid "family" deserved it and he didn't mind leaving this unfair world. But... no, he couldn't do it to Clyde and Ronnie Anne and Rusty and... everyone else who cared about him.

Lincoln broke into tears. He wished he had someone to share it with. Ronnie Anne would just beat the stuffing out of each and every one of his sisters. They would then probably beat him up for telling her. Clyde would probably offer him a place to live, but the McBrides probably had enough of the Loud family. After the _incident_ , Lincoln has left the McBride family to recover. He had to at least try to reason with his family _once_ more. If they didn't listen to him, he'd would live with Clyde, being as calm as he could he'd let his family know where he is in case they decided to love their brother/son.

Lincoln entered the house through the doggie door, packed a bag (one that he hoped that he would not have to use), and watched TV. The family arrived, gasping when the noticed that _he_ was in the house. He noticed how they were looking at him like they looked at the gift Charles left a present on the couch. After Leni sat in it.

An extended silence blanketed the house, until Lynn opened her mouth. She put as much force as she could into these two words:

"Get _out!_ "

"No," Lincoln responded. "I just need to say-"

"We don't give a _luck_ ,"Luan giggled. "Get it? But seriously, make like a tree."

"How 'bout you make like a sweatshirt and _zip it_ ," Lincoln growled back. "Anyways-"

"Ten," Lori said, still casually texting Bobby.

"What?"

"We'll give you ten seconds to leave," Lori said, "I don't give a crap what you have to say,"

Lincoln looked at his older sister, with a mixture of disappointment and anger.

"Nine," Lynn growled.

"Ei-" Lola shouted.

"QUIET!" Lincoln howled.

Everybody looked at him in surprise.

"I will not leave until I have said what I have to say," Lincoln explained. "Not even when your _stupid_ countdown is over. I've taken enough crap from you, and I won't take anymore,"

Lynn walked to her little brother and picked him up by his shirt. He looked at her with a look of pure disgust and punched her square in the nose. A satisfying _crack_ resulted. Lynn held her bleeding nose in pain. Lincoln felt a feeling of pride that he stopped his bully of a sister from committing him into the hospital. That moment of pride ended when she kneed him in his genital area.

Lincoln cried out in pain and instinctively reached out to cover his pained downstairs area. He fell on the ground in pain. Lynn was about to stomp on his head before he rolled out of the way, got up, and performed a sweep. When Lincoln's feet made contact with Lynn's she fell on the ground. He quickly scampered up a couch and did an elbow drop on Lynn's rib cage, creating another _crack_.

This was all that the other sisters need to get in on the fight. Soon, fists and feet were all over Lincoln's body, welcoming him to unconsciousness.

Lincoln let out a defiant cry. His arms and legs started flailing around everywhere. All these flails connected. He didn't stop until everyone was hit. When they were, he started doing a flurry of punches to every...single... sister (except for Lily, which goes without saying).

At the end, Lola and Lana were crying, all the older ones were trying to deal with the pain. Lucy's bangs hid the pain she was expressing. Lisa was even in tears.

"I am going to live with the McBrides now, I won't just stay here just because we share the same genes," Lincoln said. He mounted his backpack on his shoulders and walked away. "I'd say it was nice knowing you, but it really wasn't, so excuse me, but I'll be going to live with people who value me over their hobbies!"

"Lincoln Loud, take another step and we'll have the police talk some sense into you," Rita said, her voice trembling.

Lincoln's eye twitched, he turned around, giving each and every member of the Loud Household a horrific glare. He finally looked at Rita.

"Look, Rita, you and these other bitches already kicked me out of Casa Loud, I'm just taking my bags," Lincoln said, his mother cringed at hearing him call her by her first name.

"We never meant to-" Luna pleaded. She reached out toward Lincoln

"This house contains the most selfish, horrible, dumbasses in the world," Lincoln spat. " _You_ are no exception,"

Luna recoiled. Her expression showed more hurt than her physical injuries could possibly reach.

"Way harsh dude,"

"Well, it was pretty harsh that you stole my well earned Zombie Bran, just so you could get your stuff after a long day of almost getting us kicked out of the store," Lincoln glowered. "And you did end up doing just that!"

"That's not fair," Lori pouted. "We got you your idiotic cereal,"

"That's because you couldn't deal with the guilt," Lincoln retaliated. "As long as your conscience is clean, you don't care,"

The sisters hung their heads in shame knowing it was true.

"Why are you being such a _meanie_ Lincoln?" Lola asked, holding back tears.

"Because you're always a 'meanie' Lola," Lincoln produced. "Maybe if you stopped looking at yourself, you'd look around and see the problems you caused,"

She ran upstairs, her eyes welled up with tears.

Lana glared at Lincoln, then ran after her crying sister.

"Lincoln _LOUD!_ " Rita scolded, "How dare-"

"Lemme stop you right there," Lincoln said. "Why do you care right _now_? Don't you have a jigsaw puzzle to complete? Keep on being a bad parent, and the house might end up in rubble or ashes, you _ASSHOLE_!"

"Don't talk to your mother like that!" Lynn Sr. shouted angrily.

"Or what?" Lincoln asked.

He was promptly slapped on the cheek, so hard his head snapped to the right. Even Lynn Sr. was surprised at that.

Lincoln punched him right in the "hoo-has" and stormed out of the house.

"You know where to find me when you want a son and not an emotional punching bag! I'll be ready!" Lincoln exclaimed. "Don't call the police or I'll have to turn the tables!"

He then slammed the door shut.

Lynn senior held his wife as she started crying. What she was crying scared her the most: "Why are we such bad parents?"

He was raised in a strict home that allowed no lying. In other words, he couldn't argue.

* * *

Lincoln couldn't believe that he was left to sleep outside. No one cared _at all_. They wanted him to stay and do what? Sleep on the porch?

Lincoln heard a rustling in the bush. He hoped it was one of his sisters, because it was a cold night and Clyde's was at least three miles away. Instead he came face to face with a clown. This clown was holding a baseball bat. He was struck by the bat, knocked unconscious. The clown carried him into a black car. He flipped open his phone and called someone.

"Hey honey!" He said in a nasal voice. "We got one!"

* * *

 ** _I have nothing to say. Nothing to say except please_**

 ** _Read (which you've already done obviously)_**

 ** _Review_**

 ** _-MooS_**


	2. No Clowning Around!

**Heh, writer's block. More like writer's draught.**

Lincoln awoke on something cold… a table. He also felt an odd sensation down below. Sort of like being jerked back and forth.

"What in 'is goddamn world are you doing with that boy's hot dog?" A western male accent asked.

"Some 'ellows have said it turns 'em on!" A thick, female accent said.

"Now I may not be the smartest knife in the drawer, but I reckon that aint what they be talking 'bout!" He explained.

Lincoln's eyes fluttered open. He saw two much built people with clown masks. One had flowing, curly blond hair while the other had red hair, sticking out from the sides.

"How do ya explaining 'is?" The woman said pointing to Lincoln. "He's awaked!"

"We best be taking ya to da Big Boss, 'ittle man," The man explained, directing his attention to Lincoln.

Lincoln was scared half to death but he reached for his clothes. The woman pulled them away.

"Da Boss wants to inspect ya for tree-form-itties or something,"

"Can I at least wear my underwear?" Lincoln whimpered.

The woman looked at the man. He shrugged and grunted. Lincoln nimbly put on his underpants and followed them to an abandoned school.

Broken glass was everywhere and possibly even bloodstains were on the floor. They took quite a few lefts and rights until they faced a door with torches on the side.

The door opened with a whirring sound. He stepped into the room.

"Hey, kid," A man said. "I've been looking for you."

* * *

"What do you mean _wait_?" Rita Loud shouted through her cell phone.

It was twelve in the afternoon. Rita and Lynn (unbeknownst to them, also the ten sisters) were waiting eagerly for Lincoln to come back. Exhaustion overcame them all by five in the morning. They were hoping he would come back before they called the police, on his own accord.

"We are sending out the police, but we have to hold off on an AMBER alert," The dispatcher responded. "There are very specific guidelines for this, and it is out of my power,"

"This is my son we're talking about!" Lynn Sr. bellowed into the phone.

"Sir, I have already told you and your wife that there is nothing we can do!" The dispatcher said, audibly shaken up by the angry, voice that rang through her headset. Was there a sense of _guilt?_ She was about to question him about it when she heard sirens on the other end. Better leave the investigating to the professionals.

* * *

 _ **Time Skip**_

"Kids, me and your mother are going to the Santiago household," Lynn Sr. said tenderly.

The parents left the house.

Lori called a sister meeting. She banged her shoe on the

Lisa read the minutes. "Last meeting, we established that everybody decided that Lincoln is a selfish-"

"We _know_ what we said last meeting," Lori cut off. "But with the adrenaline was running and it was late…"

"Yeah, we were victims of the night. I can't be the only one!" Luna cried.

Slowly, all the sisters chimed into a unanimous chorus of agreement.

"Who says we be Lincoln's nights in shining armor," Luan shouted. "This suit of ungrateful sisters isn't good,"

Instead of the usual groaning, Luan was barraged with poisonous looks.

"Oh jeez, sorry," Luan choked. "I was only trying to lighten the mood,"

"For us to be better sisters to Lincoln," Lola said ignoring Luan in general. "He has to be a better brother to us,"

"I couldn't have proclaimed that better myself," Lisa said, frustrated. "Well, I could've, if you let me read the minutes, but you know what they say, whatevs!"

"Watch it Point Dexter," Lola growled.

"Likewise to you, hairless ape," Lisa snapped back.

Lola shouted, starting to brawl with Lisa, causing a big ball of violence to occur. The ball rolled around sucking up all the bystanders. Lynn escaped onto the table, ululated, and preformed an elbow dive.

"Enough!" Lisa shouted.

All the siblings stopped fighting. Whatever position they were currently in was what they were in now.

"We have been quite hostile to the specimen…err… Lincoln lately," Lisa explained. "But let's not forget what he has done to our sibling, Lynn,"

Lynn winced and tried to hide.

"From a recent analysis I conducted on Lynn during her REM sleep-"

"Huh?" Lynn said, confused.

"I have seen that he has caused a great deal of injury on a Lynn. She seems to have a closed fracture on quite a few of her ribs, and seems to have given all of us, sans Lilly, hematomas,"

"Tell me," Leni whimpered. "How long do we have to live?"

"No Leni," Lori sighed. "She means Lincoln gave us bumps,"

"Lincoln gave us pimples?" Leni shrieked. "I have to wash my face, like, right now!"

"No, he-"

"Please don't tell me he gave me warts," Leni cried. "I don't want to turn into a toad! Green makes me look fat!"

Lori rubbed her temples. "It doesn't matter, all that does matter is that Lincoln is dangerous and we have to teach him a lesson!"

"I concur, the quote survival of the fittest comes to mind," Lisa said.

"I think I'm kind of slim," Leni said thoughtfully.

"Come on guys, we sort of overloaded him, didn't we?" Lana said, ignoring Leni. "If I soup up Lola's ride too much, it goes out of control!"

"Lincoln isn't a machine, Lana he doesn't drink gasoline does he?" Lori asked.

"Yeah, and that time he got our embarrassing videos posted online?" Lucy said startling everyone.

Leni, finally reading the room, said, "Guys, Linky may make mistakes, but he always fixes them, and sometimes ours! He did yell, but what we did wasn't right. Almost everything he does is justif-fu-fe- with a reason!"

"I think the best way to get through to him is kill him with kindness," Luna agreed.

"Lincoln is getting a lesson whether you guys are helping us or not!" Lola cried.

* * *

The man Lincoln was talking to wore a vinyl clown mask, with lips cut out.

"So, all I have to do is a simple favor to go back home?" Lincoln asked, happily.

"I never said it was simple, kid," The Mysterious Man said. "No failure will be tolerated. Punishments will be brutal."

"Uh, okay," Lincoln said, getting nervous.

"You will be our inside man," He said. "Everyone in this area except for you two are here because humanity doesn't understand them. I help them, they take revenge for all the shit they've been given,"

"How?" Lincoln inquired.

"You haven't earned that information yet," The Man said.

"What do I do?" Lincoln asked.

"You are a kid, innocent and all, so people will trust you," the stranger continued. "Especially with freckles, adults and children find them irresistible, well in different ways. Most of the time,"

Lincoln stared at him.

"You will do all the dirty work, and our men come in only as back up," He said. "You're like our black ops,"

Gathering courage, Lincoln asked, "What if I say no?"

The man's eyes gleamed in his mask, he chuckled darkly.

"Okay, point taken," Lincoln gulped as his stomach dropped. "When do I get home?"

"Once I give you your equipment," the masked man said.

"Oh?" Lincoln's composure brightened slightly.

"Here is a hat," the man said.

"Oh," Lincoln pouted.

"Aaaand smart glasses and a high-tech watch," The Masked Man said, a bit irritated. He expected many emotions, but not disappointment. His operatives were everything but spoiled. Crafty, yes. Agile, yes. Stealthy, yes. Spoiled, no. He was almost tempted to install an app on his phone instead and send him on his way.

"Really?" Lincoln's face jumped.

"Yes, but hear me loud and clear, gadgets are no excuse for lack of skill," The Masked Man said.

"Yup," Lincoln gulped.

"Now it's time to get home," The Masked Man said. He stuck what looked like a breathalyzer into Lincoln's nose. A pungent smell put him to sleep.

* * *

It was in the middle of a plan to get back at Lincoln back for all his "sins" when a thought struck Lisa.

"Fellow siblings, we are preparing a revenge plan blatantly ignoring the fact that our brother is missing. I assume you believe he will just show up by himself after leaving in the middle of night, where crime is known to peak," She asked. "Is it possible that we are facing abnegation, street name denial?"

The door rang and the sisters heard their parents shout "LINCOLN!" in unison.

"Nope," Lola grinned maniacally.

The ten sisters ran down the stairs.

After the group hug, the sisters plotting against Lincoln gave toothy smiles to him.

"How was it?" Lori asked.

"Terrible, I was kidnapped!" Lincoln fumed. "I mean-uh,"

A look of shock came across everyone else in the house's faces.

Lincoln internally groaned. His head was aching from the chemicals forced into his nostrils and the strike on the head. It didn't help he woke up, scared half to death under his porch when a spider was crawling on the tip of his nose. Now he had to deal with this?

"It-it was nothing, I kicked and screamed and a man heard me in the next door. He came in with a gun and called the cops." Lincoln said. "He said he was visiting a friend and was going back to Canada today,"

"Thank goodness you didn't end up like that girl who lived a couple blocks away," Rita said. "Her family was _devastated_!"

"Yeah," Lincoln chuckled grimly.

 _Wait, could she-_ Lincoln thought. _Probably not, what are the chances that?_

Lincoln trudged to bed, hoping tomorrow would be better.

* * *

 **badbloodkiller1: Random, it is!**

 **Slop the 3rd: Of course, because _I'm Batman!_**

 **Randomly Talented: Yes, all created by _PENNYWISE_!**

 **Guest: God, YES!**

 **DarthSidious04: Yes pears for days! Wait, we're not talking about those juicy succulent, pears?**

* * *

 **A/N: Not my best work, but,** _ **dang, APRIL?!**_ **What the heck have I been doing with my time?! Anyways, guess who "She" is! Heh heh heh.**


	3. Brutal

"I never said it was simple, kid," The Mysterious Man said. "No failure will be tolerated. Punishments will be brutal."

Time seemed to sharpness Lincoln ended up in a different time.

"I'm sorry kid, but remember, punishments will be brutal!"

A drill bore a hole into Lincoln's hand, Lincoln tried to scream but he couldn't. The sharp pain was sad surprisingly gone and been placed by a tingling, electrical sensation in his wrist that slowly grew more painful. Lincoln tried to scream, but again, he couldn't.

Finally Lincoln managed to shout, "I'm _sorry_!"

* * *

Lincoln woke up, his pillow drenched with sweat, barely managing not to scream. Lincoln saw that the wristwatch given to him wads causing the pain. Wincing, he tried to remove it.

It wouldn't budge.

Suddenly, the clock part opened and the Mysterious Man.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you,"

Lincoln stopped struggling.

The Mysterious Man pushed a button and the swearing pain stopped.

"It's amazing how far science can take you," The Mysterious Man said. "Nano-tech, it embedded itself into your skin and nervous system. Cool right?"

Lincoln felt sick to his stomach. He smiled weakly.

"We're going to need you tomorrow, buddy. You're going to get some _very_ important stuff from the local family owned hardware store."

"B-but I have school tomorrow!" Lincoln stuttered.

"Do I look like I care, white hair?"

"I-I can't, not after my recent _kidnapping_!" Lincoln responded. "Are you _crazy_?"

A sharp pain shot through his arm, it lingered. " _You_ are out of line. I _will_ be treated with respect! Do you understand?"

Lincoln game gasped in pain.

" _I said do your understand_?" The Mysterious Man shouted, the pain growing down to the bone.

" _Y-YES_!" Lincoln hissed in pain.

The pain immediately subsided.

"Next time I might just let you suffer," the creepy clown said. He pressed a button and the watch reverted back to it's original form.

The Mysterious Man left Lincoln sobbing uncontrollably, wondering why he couldn't have just told his parents he wanted to stay home. Some dark part of him wondered if he would end up like the family living just a few blocks away.

* * *

The morning came soon enough and Lincoln was up groggy rubbing his puffy, red eyes. He opens his door and shuffled through the surprisingly barren space in the hallway that was in front of the bathroom.

Unknown to him, half his sisters were watching him from Luan and Luna's room, waiting for the right moment.

When Luan saw the wreck of a brother that was in front of her, she sighed, "Maybe we shouldn't give him such a hard time."

"Are you getting _soft_ , sister?" Lola hissed.

When Luan faltered to throw the pie in her hand, Lola was quick to grab it from her hand and hurl it at Lincoln. Lincoln temporarily incapacitated, the siblings went on with the plan, picked up Lincoln, and dunked him in the chilly water of the bathtub. Lincoln landed on an entire closet-worth of his clothes. Every single garment he owned was now soaked, and so was he.

Lincoln cried out in surprise, but once he regained his bearings, he began to just cry. He didn't care how girly he sounded whimpering at getting wetter, but he just couldn't take anymore.

The rest of the siblings just started in shock how Lincoln reacted. Lola's heart broke as she heard her big brother's sobs of anguish.

"What in the world is going on up there?" Rita shouted, making her way up the staircase.

At that moment, Lola started crying too. The others who were involved shed a few tears, but not like torrential downpour of Lola Loud.

When her mother made it up the stairs and saw what happened, she ran to her crying,

"I'm s-s-so s-so so s-sorry Muh-muh-mommy!"

"Don't you give me that Lola Loud!" Rita shouted, knowing her manipulative daughter all too well. "And after everything he's been through! You should be ashamed of yourself, because I most _definitely_ am! We'll discuss your punishment when you get home young lady!"

That goes for all of you! Especially you, Lori! You're supposed to be their leader! But I know as well as you do that you were a part of this, and I won't have it! All of you, go to the bus stop! Come on, _march_!"

All the siblings dragged their feet, feeling disappointed with themselves. Each and every one of them also knew that what Lola expressed was genuine remorse. Because, the plan was to go back to their respective rooms and Lola Loud does _not_ , deviate from her own plans. No matter what.

"Oh you poor thing, you've been through so much!" Rita said. "I can't allow you to go to school today!"

As Lincoln was helped out of the cold bathtub, a small part of him was relieved that he found a way to complete his given mission.

While Rita was calling Dr. Feinstein and telling him she couldn't work, Lincoln popped open his watch, pressing the button inside with a green phone. He put on the smart glasses.

"What time do you want me to be there?" Lincoln asked as soon as the Mysterious Man picked up.

* * *

 **Guest: Good!**

 **Mr. Haziq: Yes, but this route is much more fun than having a boring nanochip having to being implanted into Lincoln!**

 **Red the Pokemon Master: Remember, Lisa is still a four year old.**

* * *

 **A/N: Has it been that long? I hope to post the next chapter soon enough. I decided to slow it down just a teeny bit. Please follow and favorite!**


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